| Current Music: | florence | | Time: | 06:21 pm | | Current Mood: | sleepyface |
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| james & i went down to byron last week to see anitas band play...& you know, ended up going swimming with anitas new friend, sarah blasko. xxoo
i am leaving the country in 44 days & have OH $77 saved. that doesn't include the money i need for christmas & my passport & bills & uh living. fuck my life.
very
very
tired.
but i am waiting for james to come over for dinner & then we are going for a swim & boozey good times.....even though i have to work at 6.30am tomorrow BLERGH!
i want these measuring cups
& this tea towel
IMMEDIATELY. | drunks lovers/sinners & saints   |
| Current Music: | funeral for a friend | | Time: | 07:34 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankhappyp.gif) calm |
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| i had an amazing breakfast meet up with tyson this morning, where somewhere in all our words, i realised that although i am slightly irrational and paranoid at times, i'm not totally crazy.
and that has totally turned my whole mood/attitude around.
i miss that boy.
more than i should.
too much.
I can't feel the same, I can't feel this way
I can't feel the same about you anymore | | sinners & saints |
| conversations&sex&breathing&maybe life is pretty fucking boring and depressing and stressful when you are not blocking it out with alcohol or illegal drugs. only taking drugs the doctor gives me and they are not helping...well the endone is but nothing else.
realised i am leaving the country in about eight weeks and have like zero dollars. england, ireland, france, germany, poland, czech republic, italy. i'm not really interested in half of those places but having family there and paying zero dollars for accomodation makes it ok. made the stupid mistake of arriving home from london on feb 3 then going to melbourne the next day. oh well. at least i can sleepsleepsleep at my auntys for a day or two.
went and saw anitas band again last nite. lovelove.
its hard to be angry or stay mad at someone for grumpyface reasons that i can never remember, when they insist on spooning you all nite.
i am frustrated about alot of things lately. trying to fix everything, but not fixing much at all.
i have wierd dreams about people that i never see anymore. i miss them. | | sinners & saints |
| Current Music: | mapletons | | Time: | 09:53 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankawakep.gif) awake |
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| i'm too little to be the big spoon.
i cannot stop sneezing.
i want to live in a loft style apartment.
i need this...
and a ticket to cat power...because i love that little drunk.
my body fucking hates me and the pill and i don't want to take it anymore.
have watched somersault too much this week.
my ankle fucking hurts as much as it did this time last year, and i wish i was still on endone.
might go back to the specialist to suss that shit out.
need to clean my room and do all my washing.
fuckfuckfuck.
went and saw anitas band last nite at rics, they are so cute
i think thats all for now.
| | sinners & saints |
| need to get my shit together. i think half my problem is that i have too much spare time. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
so james, kristen, jen and i have decided to join the gym opposite work. don't know how that will go. i drink too much.
last nite i was meant to go out with jerks from work, but instead james and i went to sizzler and laughed at these preggo bitches half filling their glasses with vodka cruisers and the rest with lemonade. lame.
still don't know what to do about next year, might do education since its only a year...social work seems too hard and people are complete psychos that i think i would get all up in their face instead of doing my job. people frustrate me. then go overseas and teach/nanny. i have a friend doing it and shes having a blast. or fucking try and get all my degree credited to i can be an EEN. i've been saying that for like three years now. fuck i am lazy.
maybe i need to move the fuck out of brisbane, oh ive been saying that forever as well. because staying here i achieve nothing, because i am not pushed to do anything, because i am secure here. i want to move to melbourne. why am i such a fucking baby.
stephen has sent me a barrage of texts over the past few days confessing his fucking love for me amongst other things, i reply, but i just ignore the love part. and the i miss you part. god. it seems like once i get what i want (not that i ever really wanted it) i dont want it anymore. i am fucking retarded.
lkjsadgr
aveda hair products remind me of 2007.
i am going down the coast now. | | drunks lovers/sinners & saints |
| might have just booked a flight to sydney for this afternoon. beats staying here in this heat.
edit: i don't even want to fucking go now, stephen is being a complete cunt. even though it was his stupid idea. fucking stupid. | | sinners & saints |
| there's no end to the love you can give
when you change your point of view to underfoot
very good
you may be flat but you're breathing
and there's no doubt he's at home in his room
probably watching porn of you from the fall
it's last call
and you're the last one leaving
and you thought you could change the world
by opening your legs
well it isn't very hard
try kicking them instead
and you thought you could change his mind
by changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
o god delilah why?
i never met a more impossible girl....
in this same bar where you slammed down your hand
and said “Amanda, i'm in love”
no you're not
you're just a sucker for the ones who use you
and it doesn't matter what i say or do
the stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you...
you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
i never met a more impossible girl....
i never met a more impossible girl....
at four o'clock he got off
and you called up
“i'm down at denny's on route one
and you won't guess what he's done”
is that a fact delilah?
larry tap let you in through the back
and use his calling card again
for a quick hand of gin
you are impossible, delilah: the princess of denial
and after 7 years in advertising you are none the wiser
you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
cause if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
he's gonna beat you like a pillow
you schizos never learn
and if you take him home
you'll get what you deserve
so don't cry delilah
you're still alive delilah
you need a ride delilah?
let's see how fast this thing can go.....
| | sinners & saints |
| Skip to the end
Exhausted bodies in bed
Fallin' asleep with the lights on
Skip the "you don't understand"
Skip the "you're such a petty man"
Skip the way you'll never listen
You never listen
fuck all this shit. if people can't fucking man up and do the right thing, then they can go fuck themselves. i am so angry and tired and just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
fuck
fuck fuck
| | sinners & saints |
|
ended up swapping my flight to melbourne because i was totally off my face on pills and amyl. went on a random picnic to new farm park. bought a kids pool that stephen i spent the rest of the day in drinking. saturday took more pills went to some party at some FW1 persons house, which is was pretty alright. have a crush on a seventeen year old girl. so cute. sunday didn't plan to do anything, ended up taking liquid acid and finding www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium_aspiration_syndrome the most funniest thing ever...then started making up some story about a poo baby. watched too many dvds of the snl best of...lsd makes jimmy fallon hilarious. also stephen doing impersonations of his boss...do it fast boys, in a proper way...was my new favourite thing.
oh yeah, jen is back from canuck-ada. wierd much.
thats all
| | sinners & saints |
| can't ignore shit anymore, but i can escape.
just bought a one way ticket to melbourne for tomorrow.
oh credit card you will be the death of me.
fuck this stupid city and the stupid cunts in it.
i hate you. | | sinners & saints |
| spending today with the canadian drinking beers, smoking cigarettes and watching season 3 of dexter. <3
i am fucking happy for once, even though there is a million reasons why i shouldn't be, i am going to ignore them for now, until they completely fuck with my head.
x | | sinners & saints |
| my life is like a fucking movie.
went to st lucia last nite to visit dave, the drug dealer. he owns a fucking share house named the forest, which is completely covered in grafffiti inside, and just has mattresses all over the floor in all the rooms. i reckon there was about twenty people living there. it was completely insane. got our drugs and left. took e, didn't kick in for about an hour or two. ended up having completely insane sex for hours. fucking retarded.
have not slept yet.
blahblahblah | | drunks lovers/sinners & saints |
| Current Music: | bouncing souls | | Time: | 06:15 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankhyperp.gif) bouncy |
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| i wanna make you know i can do everything
but i don't ever show you how i really am...
more fancy love...
my favourite little irish lezzo.
CC bottles are two for sixty bucks. fun times for james and i.
flights have been booked to go to ireland in january/feb, to take my pops ashes home and to visit family. i love having richo relatives.
stephen and i are contemplating flying to LA and doing a roadtrip to vancouver. its so cheap to fly to LA at the moment.
can't think of much else. x
| | sinners & saints |
| Time: | 04:54 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankittenp.gif) bookers i love you |
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| 
new favourite.
Friday night, you're not gonna get it
Saturday, you try to give me one more
Sunday morning, just waiting for the
afternoon so I can be a kid again
| | sinners & saints |
| my pop passed away last nite. he looked so peaceful. i will miss him. my grandma gave me a swap card that she found in his wallet, it of a baby girl, and on the back he has written, LAUREN- MY GRANDDAUGHTER. he'd kept it since i was born. he always called me the little girl. it was funny.
can't be bothered about anything else right now.
have to cancel my flight for tonite. but tyson is flying up tomorrow anyway....i don't know how all this is going to work out since stephen won't leave.
blah | | sinners & saints |
| OK.
www.news.com.au/couriermail/gallery/0,23816,5059794-17382-2,00.html that fat bastard is on our ward and james and i spend too much time laughing about him. he's a fucking pain in the arse, he needs six men to move him and they can't use the hovermat because he's such a fat bastard.
so my pop is still going. the doctors just keep increasing his morphine so that he'll eventually pass away. fucking devestated. euthanasia please.
i've been puking since i got home, but i blame that on the fact that james and i shared hot chips at lunch and he poured a whole fucking tub of gravy on them. gross.
UHHH
so stephen has kinda just moved into my bedroom. i reckon he smoked about ten cones in five minutes yesterday. insane. cannot have sex with him because he's so stoned all the time. whats the point of being with someone if you can't fuck them. JEEEEEZ!
going to drink beer, smoke some port royal, eat m&m's and head to the alibi room.
over and out
oh and i'm going to melbania thurs. insaneeeeee
| | sinners & saints |
| Time: | 11:54 am | | Current Mood: | hansel, so hot right now |
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| third day straight with james and CC. drinkkk much.
so pretty sure stephen is a cunt and his priorities are completely fucked.
he makes me so angry and frustrated. fucking idiot.
watching zoolander.
beach tomorrow. YAY | | sinners & saints |
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vodkaface's journal
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